Truth

On Photographs (or, What Will 2012 Bring?)

This quarter, I am taking just one class: memoir writing.  In it, we were instructed to choose a photograph---any photograph---which we are to later write a reflective essay on.  Instantly, I thought of this photo:

One of my favorite snapshots of our time in the Dominican Republic, this picture captures a lot of things for me: the peacefulness and reflectiveness of travel, the life of the rural Dominicans, the poverty that sneaks up on you as a traveler, waiting around corners and in between buildings, ready to expose itself when you least expect it.  But most of all, this image captures a moment in time, a place I loved, and an adventure I won't soon forget.

Jarabacoa, where the photo was taken, is a rural mountain town known for its crops: strawberries, coffee, and peppers, as well as its flowers.  It's a beautiful little place with a nonexistent nightlife, not much in the way of tourism, and definitely little to offer the spoiled traveler who came to the DR for the beaches and five-star resorts; but to us, it was a favorite spot, just a two-hour bus ride away.

It's also the place where some pretty crazy things happened: the bat that got stuck in our room and dive-bombed me while I was sitting in bed; the hour-long horse ride through the mud and muck of the jungle, in which my husband and friend complained most of the time (but I really enjoyed); the waterfall excursions and swimming in the pools below; drinking beer in el parque, pretending not to feel out of place as the only gringos there; eating at the same restaurant three times because we couldn't find anywhere else; the final trip with a dear friend of mine in the DR, before we parted ways.  These are the things I love about my travels to Jarabacoa, the things I'll reminisce about for years to come.

And while I was looking for the above picture, I came across this one:

I call this my "explorer pose," because I, well, was trying to look like a traveler/explorer.  To me, this photo, while posed and a bit forced, shows a great deal about me as a person and how I changed in 2009.

Case in point: Doug loves to tell the story of how, shortly after we started dating, I said something like, "Oh, yeah, I don't stay in hotels less than four stars."  At the time, I think Doug just looked at me strangely, not wanting to offend his new girlfriend; later, he told me---and anyone else who would listen---how silly he thought I was for saying such a thing.  (I admit, it was a bit silly.)  But just a little over a year after that statement, here I am, clad in my explorer outfit, living in a new-to-me third-world country, wearing Chacos and my Timbuk2 bag, ready to tackle some adventures.  This is after riding a bumpy bus through winding mountain roads (which, I later learned, is a super deadly and dangerous road), checking into a MUCH less than four-star hotel, and eating some questionable food at a local joint across the street.

Ah, yes, 2009: the year I became tough.

As I look at these photos, I can't help but wonder what the heck I'm doing now.  If 2009 was the year I became tough, 2010 was the year I "went with it" by randomly moving to Asia, and 2011 was the year  my career took off and my hard work was finally recognized, what will 2012 be?

Well, for starters, it can be the year I realized a lifelong goal: writing a book.  But what else?  How will I grow personally, professionally, and spiritually?  How will I find adventure when I'm stuck here in the U.S., not traveling, and not immersing myself in new cultures?  Reaching a lifelong goal isn't enough for me this year; I need to do something big, to keep up with the tradition of years past.

But, really, you can't plan these things.  All you can do is take the opportunities life offers, go with the flow, and try to enjoy it.

I guess I'll just have to let life be what it is and see where it takes me.  As the Dominicans say, "A ver..."

Quit Wine-ing (Get it? Wine-ing? Wink, wink.)

Bumper Sticker Guy: [running after Forrest] Hey man! Hey listen, I was wondering if you might help me. 'Cause I'm in the bumper sticker business and I've been trying to think of a good slogan, and since you've been such a big inspiration to the people around here I thought you might be able to help me jump into - WOAH! Man, you just ran through a big pile of dog shit! 
Forrest Gump: It happens.
Bumper Sticker guy: What, shit?
Forrest Gump: Sometimes.  

Yes, it does.  And, unfortunately, I had an all-too-unfortunate incident the other day: someone spilled wine all over my lovely, beautiful, gem of a MacBook Pro.

Now, I know what you're thinking:  How will you get through it?  What will you do about work?  Will you ever love again?

Thanks for the nice thoughts, but I'm doing surprisingly well.  My data was recovered and, after going into temporary shock over the medical bills for my drowned computer, I made a decision to move on.

And move on I did: right on over to the Apple store.

So, with a tip of my hat to the nameless person who spilled wine all over my baby, I am writing this blog from my brand new MacBook Pro...which is pretty much exactly the same as my old one.  Almost, except for the $1350.00 difference, I guess.
__
Quote source: IMDb.

Yeah, buddy.

Image source: Photobucket; P.S. Hot dogs are gross.

Today's one of those days when I wish I could say, "Booyah, Grandma!" without getting weird looks.

Why, you ask?

Because I finished a goal.  And I'm the celebratin' type.

The goal was writing a blog post a day for the entire month of November (a.k.a., "NaBloPoMo").  And while a few posts were admittedly a bit on the lazy side, I posted each and every day.  It didn't matter if I was sick, tired, or overwhelmed -- or even "not in the blogging mood" -- I did it.

Okay, yeah.  No big deal.  It's a blog...so, what?

I finished a goal; that's what.

You can't see me, but I am giving myself a big ole pat on the back.  Go me.

Oh, yeah...I forgot

Image source: stevebasu.net

...about a little thing called laziness.

Yes, laziness.  You know, that thing that forces you to watch Netflix instant, even when you have other, more important things to do?  That overwhelming feeling that seems to take over whatever good intentions you had for the day?  Yeah, that.

I'm going to make a radical statement: Laziness can be a good thing.

Okay, so I realize that I spend a lot of time writing about drive, stick-to-it-iveness, and maintaining focus.  I believe in all of those things, and I wholeheartedly believe that we are each on this earth to fulfill our greatest dreams and desires.  But I also realize that we're all human, and as humans, we need a little veg time.

Take today, for example.  After working about six hours (with a solid four left to do), I relaxed.  You see, my threshold for work is only so high.  I can and do maintain high levels of productivity over prolonged periods of time under extreme stress, but today I'd had about enough.  I needed to sit and watch two movies, back-to-back, play with our kitten, and have a glass of wine.

Now, I know I'll be kicking myself for this later, but right now I'm feeling pretty relaxed and, believe it or not, anxious to get back to work.  It's good to get some time away from work and spend a few ridiculously lazy hours doing nothing at all.  (After all, when you work for yourself, it's not skipping work, it's just putting it off.)

Tomorrow, I will approach my work with a fresh brain, and I will be productive.  For now, I'm going to pour myself another glass of wine and allow myself to relax.

Want to join me?

Moving Forward

Image source: http://gurugilbert.com/wp-content/ambition1.jpg

Sometimes, being stagnant is easy.  It's easy to keep doing the same thing, day after day, year after year, decade after decade.  It's easy, yes, but it's not what makes a person happy.

Sure, stability is nice.  I agree with that.  But you know what gets me out of bed each morning (aside from my faith, husband, and all of the other awesome things I have to be thankful for)?  It's opportunity.  Each day is a new and exciting opportunity to make it better than the last.  It's the chance to achieve dreams.  It's the crazy attempt to realize each and every thing I've ever wanted to do.

For me, the key is maintaining a good and positive attitude and work ethic.  It's being excited for each day, and really, truly thankful for all of the good things in my life.

Of course, I could be better.  I've been known to sleep in, cranky face to world, not ready to get up and face the day.  But those days are few and far between (although my husband might beg to differ), and I really do try to approach each day with an I-can-conquer-the-world attitude.

I'm curious what other people do to keep themselves moving forward, from being anything but stagnant. Any ideas?  I'm all ears.

Juggling Things

A few days ago, as I was responding to e-mails, I came to a realization: I juggle a lot of things at once.  From multiple client projects to homework to my own writing endeavors, I usually have several things going, and most of them require a lot of careful attention.

I'm not always the most efficient person in the world, but I am pretty good at juggling my many projects.  So, I thought I'd share some of the tricks of the freelance trade.  Here are a few ideas to keep yourself organized, stay on task, and be as efficient as possible:

1. Keep a planner.  Write everything in it, even things you are sure you'll remember.
2. Make a list.  On a piece of paper, write down all of the thing you need to accomplish.  Then, number them from most to least important.  This will help you determine what to start working on first.
3. Respond to e-mails.  I struggle with this one, but I do try to stay on top of my communication.  It shows people that you care and that their projects matter to you.
4. Honor deadlines.  This might sound simple, but one of the most important things you can do to be efficient is to get things done on time.  After all, if you don't honor deadlines, you might not have any deadlines to honor in the future.
5. Celebrate achievements.  When you finish a big project, allow yourself some down time.  A fresh mind allows you to tackle the next project with efficiency, while forcing yourself to move from one project to another can result in distractions.  Instead of wasting time while I'm working (browsing websites, etc.), I give myself short, designated "breaks" -- this is time I don't feel guilty about "wasting," because it's time I've decided can be used for rest.
6. Get exercise.  It might be weird to see this on the list of things to keep yourself on task, but trust me: exercise will help you get things done.  You'll feel better, have more energy, and be more alert.  Plus, I always feel better about eight hours in front of the computer if I've just run six miles.  

Juggling multiple projects can be difficult, but use these tips to help keep yourself focused.  After all, maintaining focus is one of the most important aspects of meeting one's goal.

Keeping It in Perspective

Things that went wrong in the last week or so:

1. My husband ran our car over a concrete slab (on accident, of course); this cost around $400.00 of unexpected out-of-pocket expenses.
2. I got a speeding ticket, along with a ticket for not being registered (it's a long story; we're trying to renew our registration in Idaho, but we're having trouble getting it done).
3. My husband's computer died.  When he called to find out about fixing it, he was told that it costs $200.00 per hour to have it looked at/fixed.  I mean, c'mon...is this for real?
4. I called about the speeding ticket, after realizing that it is due today.  Apparently, in Reading, Ohio, if you don't pay the ticket in full by the date stipulated, a warrant is put out for your arrest.  So, I had to walk to the post office and send the check for $130.00.

Things that went right in the last week or so:

1. I signed a book contract.

Yeah, I think this about evens things out. :)

Of course, there are many other things that are always going right in my life: a great little family (my husband and cat), a thriving career, great friendships, a roof over my head, etc.  But, for now, I think the contract will get me through the next 30 things that go wrong.

Courage Is the Thing, You Know?

For my birthday, my sister got me Matthew Kelly's The Book of Courage, which contains pages and pages of quotes on the subject of courage.  (Interesting fact: Kelly has been compiling these quotes since he was seventeen years old!)

At first, I didn't really "get" why courage was such an important topic.  I mean, I understood why a person would want to have courage in certain circumstances -- public speaking, for example -- but I didn't really understand why fear is such an all-encompassing, and often debilitating, emotion.

In his introduction, Kelly explains why fear is so pervasive: it keeps us from accomplishing our goals, from attempting new things, from bouncing back after life-altering or traumatic circumstances.

Fear keeps us stagnant, tentative.  Courage gives us the inner power to pursue things that matter.

One section of the introduction really grabbed me:

Don't waste your life, because life is there -- all you have to do is reach our and embrace it.  Anything is possible.  Whatever your dream is, make it happen.  Have courage.  Start today.  You will be amazed what life will give you in return for a little bit of courage. 

Be certain of one thing, the measure of your life will be the measure of your courage.

Powerful words, right?

Those of you who know me personally know that parts of my life have been a truly uphill battle, and I don't hesitate to call myself courageous.  But after battling through that part of my life, I thought I didn't need to be courageous anymore.  Wrong.

Courage is always present in our lives.  It is the driving force, the thing that gives you the "umph" you need to keep on keepin' on.

Courage is stepping away from the comfort of a 9-to-5 and pursuing your passion.  It's skydiving.  It's traveling to new places and meeting new people.  It's going back to school after 20 years.  It's writing a book.  It's starting to exercise and taking control of your health.  It's attempting a new home improvement project.  It's joining a social group and making new friends.

Courage is small, and it is big.  It can be easy to come by, and it can be the most difficult thing in the world to muster.

Kelly says:

So, what are we waiting for?  We only get one shot at life.  Isn't it time for a little soul-searching?  Visit a quiet church in the middle of the day.  Take a walk in the park.  Turn off the television and talk to your children.  Open the paper and look for the job you've always wanted.  Keep a promise.  Tell your mom you love her.  Restore an old Ford.  Make friends with your neighbors.  Say yes instead of maybe.  Watch a sunset.  Write your spouse a love letter.  Fly a kite.  Say "sorry".  Ask that girl out on a date.  Try a food you've never tasted before.  Make peace with God.

He's right: what are we waiting for?  Life is so precious and so short -- let us go out into the world and make the most of it.

Working with Authors and Books (Or, Why I Love My Job)

As an editor and a writer, I have had the privilege of working with some wonderful people and excellent books.  Each project is a new experience, and I learn a great deal -- both about life and about the subject matter I'm working with.  

In fact, I've learned so much that I sometimes wonder what I'm going to do with all of the random facts, definitions, and tidbits I've accumulated in my brain.  (Somebody once joked that I should go on Jeopardy.  I'm pretty sure I would win.)

But, seriously: I love working with authors and editing books.  It's a true joy.  Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to be doing this for a living.  I mean, c'mon -- I get paid to read and write!  It doesn't get much better than that.

So, since I've been lucky enough to work with all of these great people and books, I think it's about time I tell you about some of them.  So, here's my plan: each month, I will post about one of the books I've worked with.  I might do it more often than that, but you can expect at least one per month, with the first one coming this week.  Which one, you ask?  You'll have to wait and see -- it's no fun if it's not a surprise!

The Whiniest Blog Post, Ever

I'm seriously second guessing this NaBloPoMo thing.  One post a day for a month?  Sure, I thought, sounds easy.

But, of course, November is turning out to be one of the busiest months, ever.  And this week is no exception: I'm editing a book, proofing a magazine, taking classes as a full-time graduate student, and working as a graduate editorial assistant at a campus that is 30 minutes away (but it's paying my tuition, so I'm thankful for it).  Honestly, these things, on their own, aren't so bad.  I enjoy editing, my classes, and my assistantship.

But then there's this blog.  After working in the morning, proofreading 25 pages, going on a four mile run, figuring out how to work the blasted FileZilla and writing a five page paper, I don't feel like blogging.  What I really want to do is drink wine and watch something mindless on Netflix.

Too bad, so sad, the NaBloPoMo spirit whispers in my ear.  You made a commitment, Honey.

She's right, you know.  I did make a commitment, and I wouldn't be me if I didn't follow through (or at least try my best to do so) with every little commitment I make.  And to make sure I don't forget this goal,  I've written "blog" on the inside of my wrist everyday with red pen.

I'm curious if I'm the only one who does this.  I mean, I like being busy, and I'm very thankful for all of the opportunities, but why do I go and set a personal goal in the midst of all of it?  Am I the only one who does things like this?

Some Thoughts About Travel

The People's Committee Building, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, during Tet holiday

It's official: it's been too long since I've traveled.

I do realize that I flew to Boise a little over a week ago, but that doesn't really count, now does it?  I'm talking real travel.  The what-is-this-stuff-I'm-eating, talking-with-hand-guestures, everything-is-totally-new-and-different sort of travel.

For all the whining I do about wanting to be back in Boise, I really do miss being abroad.  I miss the strangeness of it, the empowerment I feel when accomplishing little things (like taking a taxi by myself for the first time in a new country), the ever-present "otherness" that permeates everything I do.  I miss sitting at a table in Phu My Hung, Ho Chi Minh City, eating yellow noodles, and looking around and realizing how wonderful and full life is.  I miss Sunday mornings: leaving late to get to church at the Notre Dame Cathedral, a lunch of eggs, rice, and baguettes afterwards, ordering coffee at Western coffeeshops.  I even miss Ben Thanh: its stinky fish smell, the hands grabbing at my elbows, the particularly good bootleg DVD stands, the smiles that quickly fade when you decide not to buy.

I even miss the Dominican Republic sometimes: my students, who became like siblings to me; twice monthly trips to amazing beaches; egg sandwiches (sin mayonesa), fresh mango smoothies (sin azúcar), and tostones at that little restaurant in the Zona Colonial; trying not to fall asleep during mass, with the echoey, Spanish words lulling me in the hot, old buildings; cobblestone streets that elicited that feeling of real traveling.

But what does this mean, exactly?  Will this nostalgia lead to more travels, new locales, another home abroad?

For now, we are in Ohio.  But in two years, who knows?  And even if we don't move back abroad, I plan to explore every inch of this world of ours.

NaBloPoMo: Why Writers Should Run

To the many writers who do not find inspiration in running, I ask you:

When else can you be so totally and completely disconnected from the mundane of the day-to-day?  When else can you leave behind your cell phone and computer, the compulsion to check e-mails and social networking sites, and the need to make small talk?  When else is it totally acceptable to ignore everyone and everything around you (except cars, of course)?

About three years, ago, I wrote a short creative nonfiction piece entitled, "On Running (and Running On)".  The piece was about how running got me through a very trying time and the integral role running has played in my life.  An excerpt from that piece does a pretty good job of describing how running affects me:

I run up and down the inclines and declines and hop over puddles and feel the ache in my knee.  I breathe hard and keep pace.  I feel the cracks in the greenbelt and the branches that need trimmed off of the path.  I feel sweat and thirst and fatigue.  I feel the foot to shin to thigh connection with concrete, hard and lovely against my tennis shoes. ... 

People understand the nature of the runner.  A runner needs to keep running.  A runner needs to maintain her center.

I feel the same way about writing: it helps me keep centered.  But I know that a lot of my writing inspiration occurs during long runs.  

Of course, like writing, running takes practice.  It takes a good deal of stick-to-it-iveness.  But it will give back so much more than you put into it. 

Writers, I challenge you: try running or some other form of aerobic activity.  See how it affects your creative abilities, how it positively impacts your life.  Or, find a better way to be totally focused, utterly creative, and wholly connected. And if you find a better way, let me know -- I'd like to try it out.

{Sidenote: This blog was written immediately after a nice, long run.  Surprise, surprise.}

NaBloPoMo: 5 Reasons NBC's The Office Isn't As Awesome Anymore

Image source: http://vi.sualize.us/splinteredheart/the%20office/?waterflow

Warning: the following post is for The Office nerds only.

I'm not usually one to follow TV shows, but I got a little addicted to The Office while living in Vietnam.  I'm a fan.

So, when NBC announced that Steve Carell was leaving the show, I was more than a little bummed.  Nonetheless, I tried to approach season eight with optimism...only to be let down terribly.  Below, I've compiled a list of five reasons The Office isn't as awesome anymore.

1. The most obvious: Michael Scott isn't on anymore...and Andy is a poor, not-as-funny substitute.
2. There isn't a central romance.  In past seasons, there has been a driving relationship: Jim and Pam; Dwight/Andy and Angela; Andy/Gabe and Erin; and then Michael and Holly.  It seems as though they're building up to a romance between Andy and Erin, but they're taking their sweet time...and it's a little too predictable.
3. The script is almost too funny.  It seems like the writers are overcompensating for Michael Scott's absence.
4. The awkward, I-find-you-attractive-but-I'll-never-admit-it relationship between Michael and Ryan is gone.  Oh how I miss that.
5. There's a hint of sadness on the set.  It's like the characters know they are doomed without Michael Scott there.

NaPloBoMo: Ohio Isn't So Bad

Frisbee Golf Course at Mt. Airy in Cincinnati, Ohio

I know it's early in NaBloPoMo, but I'm kind of giving up on the site's prompts.  Today's is: Can you listen to music and write?  What song did you hear today?

Instead, I'd like to talk about Ohio.

On my flights to and from Boise last week, each seat mate initiated the typical conversation:

"So, where're you headed?"
"Boise."
"The blue field, huh?  Is that where you're from?"
"I'm from there, but I live in Cincinnati."
"Oh, that's nice.  Cincinnati is a nice place."
"Eh.  It's okay."
"Just okay?"
"Yeah, just okay.  You know, it's no Boise."

At this point in the conversation, the person sitting next to me usually paused, thinking quietly.  I could almost see the thoughts floating around, reasons why Ohio, Cincinnati in particular, is a very nice place to live.  And, sure enough, everyone did their best to convince me of its livability and general goodness.

No one could really understand my blasé attitude toward the Midwest and Ohio.  I mean, it's fine.  Livable, even.  Maybe even a little pleasant.

But it's no Boise, Ho Chi Minh City, or Bangkok.  And yes, I did just compare Boise to two Southeast Asian cities.

Here's the deal: Ohio isn't so bad.  Or at least my little sliver of Ohio isn't.

A few examples: 

• Last weekend, my husband and I had a very enjoyable frisbee golf game in a national park.  This park is actually a beautiful, hilly, wooded area, and it's just 15 minutes our apartment.
• Day before yesterday, I had a nice five-mile run up and down steep hills, part of which was along a beautiful tree-covered road.  
• Midwesterners are generally nice people, and they are very welcoming to outsiders.
• I have yet to see or hear about someone seeing a dead body.

Okay, so the last one is a little bit of a stretch, but my main point is that Cincinnati is relatively safe.  It's not Boise safe, but it's definitely a lot safer than some of the places I've lived.

Seeing as I have to live here for another two or so years, I'm going to try to keep growing this list.  I'm going to try to stop thinking about all of the fabulous places my husband and I could be living and really try to appreciate the place we're living now.

Ohio isn't so bad...and perhaps I'll eventually even think it's a nice place to live.

NaBloPoMo: Why the Truth Matters

Today's blog prompt on NaBloPoMo is just silly: If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?  So, today, I'm picking my own topic: Why the Truth Matters

I started out my morning watching a video from TED.com entitled, "How to Spot a Liar".  

The stats were a little disheartening, though.  I like to think that most of the people that I meet or talk to on a day-to-day basis are honest people.  I like to think that I'm not being lied to up to 200 times a day (stat according to the video).  I like to think that our society has more integrity than that.

Ever since I was a teenager, I've had trouble spotting a liar.  I don't know if this is because I am too trusting or just plain stupid to the fact that people don't always tell the truth.  In fact, I'm so bad at this that I've had certain relationships where I've been lied to for years...only to be utterly shocked when the truth finally comes out.  There have been times where my naivety has had devastating consequences to me and the people around me.

So, what's the solution?  Do I abandon all trust and scrutinize strangers, friends, family, and even my own husband?

In the video, Pamela Meyer claims that a lie requires two people: one person to tell the lie and another person to accept it.  Is this true?  Are we participating in the lie by believing it?  Should we constantly be trying to "spot a liar" in our conversations with strangers, business acquaintances, and friends?

And while I'm not altogether proud of the fact that I'm easy to lie to, I kind of hope it doesn't change.  I like to be trusting of people, and I like to believe that, as Anne Frank put it, "Despite everything ... people are really good at heart."

Yes, I think that's about right: people are good, and I hope I always have that outlook.

Re-entering the World of Academia

Today, it begins: the first day of the next two years.  At 4:00 eastern time, I start my master's in professional writing and editing.

Two years ago, I was making the decision to wait on graduate school.  In fact, two years ago today, I was one and a half months into my position at the Ashton School of Santo Domingo.  I had five classes of Dominican children who disliked me (they came around eventually, but it took them awhile), and I was just starting to explore the country.

One year ago, I was leaving the Dominican Republic, returning to Boise for a few weeks, and then headed off to Vietnam.  And it was six months ago that my husband and I left Vietnam and returned to the States, leaving a region we fell in love with...but jobs we did not.

In a way, graduate school feels like a temporary stasis of travel.  That's fine--expected, even.  But I will miss that part of my life, and I will certainly miss the weekend trips, adventures, and even the danger.

So, today, I re-enter the world of academia.  But this time, it's on my terms: the program is exactly what I need and want to further my goals and career, and I think that the next two years will be rather pleasant, if not a little ordinary.

Here's to the next two years!

What's on Your Bucket List?

While I was teaching in the Dominican Republic, we did a unit on Tuesdays with Morrie.  It really is a lovely little book, and it got us, as a class, thinking about what we'd each individually like to do before we die.  Not in a creepy sense, but it a life-is-too-short sorta sense.  It prompted some interesting discussions, but I haven't really thought much about the topic since then.

Lately, though, I've been hearing a lot of talk about "bucket lists".  I can't help but wonder: do people actually write these things out?  I always thought of a bucket list as a metaphorical thing; it seemed that someone would say, "Oh, yeah, that's on my bucket list!" in reference to any cool thing he or she wanted to do.

Recently, someone specifically mentioned adding an item to his bucket list complete with a number, which gave me pause.  Do people really take these bucket lists seriously?  It seems so.

I think I'd like to get in on this bucket-list-havin' crowd.  So, below, I've started an initial bucket list.  It'll need some refinement, but it's a start, anyhow:

1. Travel every continent of the world extensively.
2. See the seven wonders of the modern and ancient world.
3. Travel Ireland for several weeks/months.
4. See Machu Picchu at sunrise.
5. Skydive.
6. Write and publish a book (as a sole author, not coauthor or editor).
7. Take a Mediterranean cruise.
8. Have artwork on display at an art museum.
9. Build a house near water (preferably the ocean), with a separate writing and art studio.
10. Take a big vacation alone to write, think, and explore.
11. Run a half marathon (this may graduate to a full as I get older).

So, there is is--all written out and numbered.  I officially have a bucket list; it's definitely not a full list, but it's a start.  

What about you?  What's on your bucket list?

Run, run, run, run, run, run, run awaaaay.

Whatever I do, I must not let fear pervade me.  That fear - fear of everything (politics, finances, school, relationships), overwhelms a person until their every breath in screams of injustice and their every breath out demands a truth.  It is that fear that stops a person in her path, causes her to rethink, forces her to become what she never wanted to be.  Let it be, the wise ones said in the 60's.  Let it flow, I say, as I contemplate the fear that has overtaken those in their middle age.  That same fear is beginning to suck the life out of my generation.  I pray that its corruption will avoid the youth.  

And, how do we avoid this?  How do we remain enlightened, above the constant and ever-presence of the present?  How can we detach ourselves from the crisis of the moment and realize - of course - that we must be in the moment?

I forget the moment constantly.  It is easy to do in this world of constant connectiveness that has only disconnected us from the importance of now.  Is it not as important to enjoy the earth as to worry for it?  If we all learn to love the soil, if we learn to love one another, if we learn to love God, will we not also find the truth - the absolution from fear?  In the peace of now, in the quiet oak, in the calm, sweet freshness of fall - are we not at our best?  We cannot save what we do not love.  

And I - I with my frenzied class-to-job-to-homework-to-sleep-to-wake-to-class must also recognize this.  I must breathe when my schedule allows.  I must unplug and connect to the pavement, to the exchanges of my peers, to the feelings and sounds and smells that I have been missing over the years.  I must love the moment, even if I abhor the present at times.  It is, after all, a beautiful moment of existence.