24 December 2008

A new year's resolution.

"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters.
They never ask: 'What does his voice sound like?' 'What games does he like best?' 'Does he collect butterflies?'. 

They ask: 'How old is he?' 'How many brothers does he have?' 'How much does he weigh?' 'How much money does his father make?' Only then do they think they know him." 

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
"The Little Prince"

Lately, I've felt as though I am much too serious.  When did I lose my childhood abandon?  My  love for simplicity?  My heart for quiet?

Indeed, I love the solitude of reading, the aloneness of running, and the simplicity of writing.  But, when did I become so over-committed that I lose my soul?  At times I feel pulled in so many directions that my breath feels heavy in my chest and my eyes blur.

For the coming year, I am making a single resolution: simplify.

I want to clean out belongings that I no longer use and only clutter my existence.  I hope to rid myself of being the "yes-man".  I yearn for time alone, time with Doug, time with my family, time to just be.

("We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." Thich Nhat Hanh is a genius.  Why didn't I think of that?)

The last 23 years have gone by so quickly and I have not been fully engaged.  I am often separate from the moment, lost in a world of necessaries.  How can I learn to exist in the now?

This year, I resolve to practice mindfulness, to meditate, to pray, to exist in complete fullness of the moment and love of the present.  I resolve to be fully engaged with my life.

22 December 2008

Last Christmas

I thought it would be appropriate to reminisce about last Christmas, since I am in the process of preparing for this year's celebration.  

(In the mad frenzy to consider, buy, wrap, and give presents, it's important to remember why we're doing all this preparation...)

So, here are photos from last year:



Happiest Christmas, ever.

I still get presents from Santa!

Weirdos from another planet.

More tasty goodness.

(I can't wait for this Christmas!)

19 December 2008

Oh, what can I do, do, do?

I'm taking the GRE this Saturday, which has been looming over my head for several months.  

I knew this test was coming, but did I start studying? No.  
Did I even open the book that I purchased at Barnes and Nobles (a month ago) until last week? No.  
Did I review any math? No.  
Did I memorize vocabulary? No.

Oh, and I have a viral infection which should peak tomorrow.  

But, what can I do?  Nothing. Nothing and nothing and nothing.  But, that's okay.  I'm holding to the philosophy that what is supposed to happen, will.  If my score is too low to get into the colleges that I want, that's okay, right?  I just need to trust that it will all work out.

And, besides, it won't be so bad to enter the working world, right?  Right?