Truth

Growing Is Forever, by Jesse Rosten

Today, take a moment to consider the beauty of nature, of this wonderful world we are lucky enough to call home.

Why Smiling Is Good Business

Image Source: http://lifethroughartfoundation.blogspot.com

My first week of ninth grade, after transferring to a public school from the Christian one I'd gone to since childhood, I was approached by the friend of a boy who had a crush on me.

"He likes your smile," the friend told me. "He says you always have a big smile on your face, and he thinks it's pretty."

My ninth grade self was pretty embarrassed at this statement, that this boy who'd never even talked to me before liked my smile.  Of course, I was too awkward to ever have a conversation with my admirer, but the idea stuck: People like it when you smile.

As an adult, I've kept smiling.  I'm not always the most verbally eloquent person, but I am usually smiling and try to be engaged in what the other person is saying.  In business, I do the same.

After my recent workshop at the Idaho Business Extravaganza, I learned that several of the participants appreciated my happy disposition and the smile I had throughout most of the presentation.

In meetings, I've found that a smile can get through to even the most reserved client.  In interviews I do for writing projects, I've found that laughter and smiles make our time together much more productive and useful.

It's funny: I've also found that a simple smile can break through some of the barriers I face in the work place.  As a woman, I know that society believes I should either be like Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada or a modern-day June Cleaver.  Frowing or smiling.  Working or homemaking.

I resist the conventional wisdom that tells me that, as a woman, I need to be stern and assertive, to "prove myself" through my demeanor and words.  I resist the idea that work can't be fun, that people can't just get along, that you can't smile through meetings (or have any other emotion, for that matter).  Now, I know that you can't always smile genuinely---firing an employee, for example, is a time when a smile might be taken the wrong way---but I do think a happy demeanor is key in business.

I also laugh.  A lot.  And genuinely, too.

So, try it: Next time you're in a meeting, at a client lunch, or doing something else professionally-oriented, add a few extra smiles into your game plan.  I bet you'll like the results.

On Photographs (or, What Will 2012 Bring?)

This quarter, I am taking just one class: memoir writing.  In it, we were instructed to choose a photograph---any photograph---which we are to later write a reflective essay on.  Instantly, I thought of this photo:

One of my favorite snapshots of our time in the Dominican Republic, this picture captures a lot of things for me: the peacefulness and reflectiveness of travel, the life of the rural Dominicans, the poverty that sneaks up on you as a traveler, waiting around corners and in between buildings, ready to expose itself when you least expect it.  But most of all, this image captures a moment in time, a place I loved, and an adventure I won't soon forget.

Jarabacoa, where the photo was taken, is a rural mountain town known for its crops: strawberries, coffee, and peppers, as well as its flowers.  It's a beautiful little place with a nonexistent nightlife, not much in the way of tourism, and definitely little to offer the spoiled traveler who came to the DR for the beaches and five-star resorts; but to us, it was a favorite spot, just a two-hour bus ride away.

It's also the place where some pretty crazy things happened: the bat that got stuck in our room and dive-bombed me while I was sitting in bed; the hour-long horse ride through the mud and muck of the jungle, in which my husband and friend complained most of the time (but I really enjoyed); the waterfall excursions and swimming in the pools below; drinking beer in el parque, pretending not to feel out of place as the only gringos there; eating at the same restaurant three times because we couldn't find anywhere else; the final trip with a dear friend of mine in the DR, before we parted ways.  These are the things I love about my travels to Jarabacoa, the things I'll reminisce about for years to come.

And while I was looking for the above picture, I came across this one:

I call this my "explorer pose," because I, well, was trying to look like a traveler/explorer.  To me, this photo, while posed and a bit forced, shows a great deal about me as a person and how I changed in 2009.

Case in point: Doug loves to tell the story of how, shortly after we started dating, I said something like, "Oh, yeah, I don't stay in hotels less than four stars."  At the time, I think Doug just looked at me strangely, not wanting to offend his new girlfriend; later, he told me---and anyone else who would listen---how silly he thought I was for saying such a thing.  (I admit, it was a bit silly.)  But just a little over a year after that statement, here I am, clad in my explorer outfit, living in a new-to-me third-world country, wearing Chacos and my Timbuk2 bag, ready to tackle some adventures.  This is after riding a bumpy bus through winding mountain roads (which, I later learned, is a super deadly and dangerous road), checking into a MUCH less than four-star hotel, and eating some questionable food at a local joint across the street.

Ah, yes, 2009: the year I became tough.

As I look at these photos, I can't help but wonder what the heck I'm doing now.  If 2009 was the year I became tough, 2010 was the year I "went with it" by randomly moving to Asia, and 2011 was the year  my career took off and my hard work was finally recognized, what will 2012 be?

Well, for starters, it can be the year I realized a lifelong goal: writing a book.  But what else?  How will I grow personally, professionally, and spiritually?  How will I find adventure when I'm stuck here in the U.S., not traveling, and not immersing myself in new cultures?  Reaching a lifelong goal isn't enough for me this year; I need to do something big, to keep up with the tradition of years past.

But, really, you can't plan these things.  All you can do is take the opportunities life offers, go with the flow, and try to enjoy it.

I guess I'll just have to let life be what it is and see where it takes me.  As the Dominicans say, "A ver..."

Oh, yeah...I forgot

Image source: stevebasu.net

...about a little thing called laziness.

Yes, laziness.  You know, that thing that forces you to watch Netflix instant, even when you have other, more important things to do?  That overwhelming feeling that seems to take over whatever good intentions you had for the day?  Yeah, that.

I'm going to make a radical statement: Laziness can be a good thing.

Okay, so I realize that I spend a lot of time writing about drive, stick-to-it-iveness, and maintaining focus.  I believe in all of those things, and I wholeheartedly believe that we are each on this earth to fulfill our greatest dreams and desires.  But I also realize that we're all human, and as humans, we need a little veg time.

Take today, for example.  After working about six hours (with a solid four left to do), I relaxed.  You see, my threshold for work is only so high.  I can and do maintain high levels of productivity over prolonged periods of time under extreme stress, but today I'd had about enough.  I needed to sit and watch two movies, back-to-back, play with our kitten, and have a glass of wine.

Now, I know I'll be kicking myself for this later, but right now I'm feeling pretty relaxed and, believe it or not, anxious to get back to work.  It's good to get some time away from work and spend a few ridiculously lazy hours doing nothing at all.  (After all, when you work for yourself, it's not skipping work, it's just putting it off.)

Tomorrow, I will approach my work with a fresh brain, and I will be productive.  For now, I'm going to pour myself another glass of wine and allow myself to relax.

Want to join me?

The Toys of My Childhood

Today's prompt is #22, "In 200 words, write about your first toy."

____

Like most memories, mine become blurred the farther back in time they go, until they nearly fade out into a black and white blur.  But I do remember some things with startling clarity, and one of those things is my favorite stuffed animal, a toy maker's replica of a basset hound.

My dog had the saddest eyes I'd ever seen, and they had such an effect on me that I felt instance empathy every time I looked into his puppy dog eyes.  His long ears fell around his face in the floppiest of fashions, and he had a pouch in his back, which was perfect for storing small picture books, yo-yos, and the other odds and ends of my childhood.

I used to have a cubby light built into the headboard of my waterbed, and I remember spending sleepless nights with the light on, its short-reaching glow forcing me to huddle next to it.  It was on those sleepless nights that I'd line up my favorite toys: the gray rabbit, who had a striking resemblance to the velveteen rabbit; the two-sided doll, who was asleep or awake, the switch made by pulling her dress over the opposite face; Baby Dear, the doll from my mom's childhood, who had a lazy left eye as a result of time's impact on its opening and closing lids.  I would look at them knowingly, waiting for them to come to life, to dance around, to talk to me.  I would swear, to no one but myself, that I saw them move, a whisker twitch, an eyelid flutter.

Of course, this never happened.  And as I grew, the toys ended up in the corner of the room, and then a hammock-like toy holder attached to my ceiling, and then, finally, the attic.  It is there that my toys still live, in my parents' house, inside of two garbage sacks, which are meant to keep the dust out.  Perhaps they will eventually occupy the rooms of my children someday.

The toys of my childhood sit in an attic in Idaho, not collecting dust, and not talking to children.

Courage Is the Thing, You Know?

For my birthday, my sister got me Matthew Kelly's The Book of Courage, which contains pages and pages of quotes on the subject of courage.  (Interesting fact: Kelly has been compiling these quotes since he was seventeen years old!)

At first, I didn't really "get" why courage was such an important topic.  I mean, I understood why a person would want to have courage in certain circumstances -- public speaking, for example -- but I didn't really understand why fear is such an all-encompassing, and often debilitating, emotion.

In his introduction, Kelly explains why fear is so pervasive: it keeps us from accomplishing our goals, from attempting new things, from bouncing back after life-altering or traumatic circumstances.

Fear keeps us stagnant, tentative.  Courage gives us the inner power to pursue things that matter.

One section of the introduction really grabbed me:

Don't waste your life, because life is there -- all you have to do is reach our and embrace it.  Anything is possible.  Whatever your dream is, make it happen.  Have courage.  Start today.  You will be amazed what life will give you in return for a little bit of courage. 

Be certain of one thing, the measure of your life will be the measure of your courage.

Powerful words, right?

Those of you who know me personally know that parts of my life have been a truly uphill battle, and I don't hesitate to call myself courageous.  But after battling through that part of my life, I thought I didn't need to be courageous anymore.  Wrong.

Courage is always present in our lives.  It is the driving force, the thing that gives you the "umph" you need to keep on keepin' on.

Courage is stepping away from the comfort of a 9-to-5 and pursuing your passion.  It's skydiving.  It's traveling to new places and meeting new people.  It's going back to school after 20 years.  It's writing a book.  It's starting to exercise and taking control of your health.  It's attempting a new home improvement project.  It's joining a social group and making new friends.

Courage is small, and it is big.  It can be easy to come by, and it can be the most difficult thing in the world to muster.

Kelly says:

So, what are we waiting for?  We only get one shot at life.  Isn't it time for a little soul-searching?  Visit a quiet church in the middle of the day.  Take a walk in the park.  Turn off the television and talk to your children.  Open the paper and look for the job you've always wanted.  Keep a promise.  Tell your mom you love her.  Restore an old Ford.  Make friends with your neighbors.  Say yes instead of maybe.  Watch a sunset.  Write your spouse a love letter.  Fly a kite.  Say "sorry".  Ask that girl out on a date.  Try a food you've never tasted before.  Make peace with God.

He's right: what are we waiting for?  Life is so precious and so short -- let us go out into the world and make the most of it.

NaBloPoMo: Why Writers Should Run

To the many writers who do not find inspiration in running, I ask you:

When else can you be so totally and completely disconnected from the mundane of the day-to-day?  When else can you leave behind your cell phone and computer, the compulsion to check e-mails and social networking sites, and the need to make small talk?  When else is it totally acceptable to ignore everyone and everything around you (except cars, of course)?

About three years, ago, I wrote a short creative nonfiction piece entitled, "On Running (and Running On)".  The piece was about how running got me through a very trying time and the integral role running has played in my life.  An excerpt from that piece does a pretty good job of describing how running affects me:

I run up and down the inclines and declines and hop over puddles and feel the ache in my knee.  I breathe hard and keep pace.  I feel the cracks in the greenbelt and the branches that need trimmed off of the path.  I feel sweat and thirst and fatigue.  I feel the foot to shin to thigh connection with concrete, hard and lovely against my tennis shoes. ... 

People understand the nature of the runner.  A runner needs to keep running.  A runner needs to maintain her center.

I feel the same way about writing: it helps me keep centered.  But I know that a lot of my writing inspiration occurs during long runs.  

Of course, like writing, running takes practice.  It takes a good deal of stick-to-it-iveness.  But it will give back so much more than you put into it. 

Writers, I challenge you: try running or some other form of aerobic activity.  See how it affects your creative abilities, how it positively impacts your life.  Or, find a better way to be totally focused, utterly creative, and wholly connected. And if you find a better way, let me know -- I'd like to try it out.

{Sidenote: This blog was written immediately after a nice, long run.  Surprise, surprise.}

Dream Are Only Dreams (...Until They're Not Anymore)

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of being a featured speaker at the Idaho Book Extravaganza.  And while I went there excited to be a part of the event, meet writers and editors, and talk to the community, I left with something more: a deeper appreciation for what accomplishing a goal can mean to a person.

As I met person after person, and heard about their manuscripts and goals, I couldn't help but feel moved.  Here were people who were taking a step toward accomplishing something they'd always wanted to do, people who were brave enough to approach me and tell me their stories.  I noticed how their expressions would change when they started talking about their manuscripts, and I could see that many people were revisiting dreams they'd almost given up on, dreams that are still very, very present.

As I reflected on my many conversations, I couldn't help but wonder: What is it that causes us to move in the opposite direction of our dreams?  Why do we put that half-written manuscript inside a desk that sits in a room no one uses?  Why are we so afraid to talk about the things we desire?

Of course, not everyone wants to write a book.  Other people have different dreams: climbing a summit, backpacking through Europe, doing a triathlon.  But it's not really the type of dream that matters, is it?  The question still remains: Why don't we spend every waking moment moving in the direction of our dreams?  What is it about success that is just so terrifying?

When I was in long distance track in high school, my coach once said to me, "When you run, keep your eyes on the back of the person in front of you.  You naturally move toward the thing you're looking at."

And so it is with goals.  The more we read, talk, think, and write about our dreams, the more likely we are to accomplish them.  We must keep our eyes always forward and our bodies always moving in the direction of our dreams.

After all, if we are always looking forward in anticipation of the prize, aren't we naturally more likely to become victorious?

Setting (and Keeping) Daily Goals

There aren't a lot of things I do right, but one thing I do well is setting and keeping goals. I set goals for myself every day, and they are always realistic, tangible goals that I know can (and will) be accomplished.  I'm very much a I-get-what-I-want-sort-of-person, and part of that is simply because I work to make it happen.  I set goals...and I keep them.  Every day.


I also set lifelong goals, although I don't focus on these with as much intensity.  I keep these goals in the back of my mind, and I have a very clear vision of them.  I see myself sitting in the office of my dreams, a detached studio next to the home of my dreams, doing what I love.  I see myself happy, accomplished, and wealthy.  I verbalize these goals, and I let myself believe in them.  Sometimes, when I'm tired or feeling like I just can't edit another page, create another design, or write another article, I think of my goals, and they motivate me.


You haven't ever done this, you say?  Well, let me help you get started:

1. Think of the most pertinent things that you need to accomplish by the end of the week.  For example, on Monday, I had: 124 pages to edit, an ad to create for my business, an article to write, and the final review of a magazine.  Everything had to be done by Saturday, with separate due dates (the article and ad were due Wednesday morning).
2. Estimate how long each task will take.  In my case: editing , 30 hours; ad, 6 hours; article, 4 hours; and magazine, 6 hours.  
3. Prioritize the tasks.  In my example, the editing wasn't due until Saturday, but it takes consistent work every day to get it done in time.  The article and ad was due the soonest, so I gave that priority.  The magazine wasn't on a timeline per say, but it still needed prompt attention.  (Of note: I'd already finished a draft ad and the start to the article before Monday.)  So, my priorities were: ad, article, manuscript, magazine.
4. Divide it up.  Divide your work by how many days you have to get it accomplished.  I divided the manuscript into four days, with Friday devoted to checking a new section.  The ad and article were divided into a full draft of each Monday and final product Tuesday.  The magazine will wait until Friday, and I'll work on it Saturday, too.  So, my goals every day through Friday looked like this:  Monday, 30 pages of manuscript, ad draft, article draft; Tuesday, 30 pages of manuscript, final ad, final article; Wednesday, 30 pages of manuscript; Thursday, 30 pages of manuscript; Friday, 5 pages of manuscript, proofread new section (20 pages), start magazine check; Saturday, finish magazine check.
5. Remind yourself.  Every day, think through your goals and remind yourself what you have to accomplish; also, add any new items that have come about since you first set the goal for the day.  next, set a time of day that you'd like to finish the goal(s) by.  For example, "Today, I will edit 30 pages by 4:00 p.m., and then I will go for a run."  As you work, set smaller goals, such as, "I will finish 20 pages by 12:30 p.m., and then I'll take a short break to eat."  Setting smaller, specific goals (and meeting them) helps keep me motivated.
6. Let yourself feel a sense of accomplishment.  You completed your goals!  Go you!

Sometimes I don't meet my goals, but I don't let it get me down--at those times, I just add a little bit more to the next day's goal.  Other times, I over-accomplish; Tuesday, for example, I edited 35 pages instead of 30.

While setting daily goals doesn't include everything I will do that day, it does help me prioritize the big stuff and stay motivated.  It gets easier with time, and eventually it becomes a habit.

A new year's resolution.

"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters.

 

They never ask: 'What does his voice sound like?' 'What games does he like best?' 'Does he collect butterflies?'. 

They ask: 'How old is he?' 'How many brothers does he have?' 'How much does he weigh?' 'How much money does his father make?' Only then do they think they know him." 

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"The Little Prince"

Lately, I've felt as though I am much too serious.  When did I lose my childhood abandon?  My  love for simplicity?  My heart for quiet?

Indeed, I love the solitude of reading, the aloneness of running, and the simplicity of writing.  But, when did I become so over-committed that I lose my soul?  At times I feel pulled in so many directions that my breath feels heavy in my chest and my eyes blur.

For the coming year, I am making a single resolution: simplify.

I want to clean out belongings that I no longer use and only clutter my existence.  I hope to rid myself of being the "yes-man".  I yearn for time alone, time with Doug, time with my family, time to just be.

("We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." Thich Nhat Hanh is a genius.  Why didn't I think of that?)

The last 23 years have gone by so quickly and I have not been fully engaged.  I am often separate from the moment, lost in a world of necessaries.  How can I learn to exist in the now?

This year, I resolve to practice mindfulness, to meditate, to pray, to exist in complete fullness of the moment and love of the present.  I resolve to be fully engaged with my life.