24 December 2008

A new year's resolution.



"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters.
 
They never ask: 'What does his voice sound like?' 'What games does he like best?' 'Does he collect butterflies?'. 

They ask: 'How old is he?' 'How many brothers does he have?' 'How much does he weigh?' 'How much money does his father make?' Only then do they think they know him." 

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
"The Little Prince"

Lately, I've felt as though I am much too serious.  When did I lose my childhood abandon?  My  love for simplicity?  My heart for quiet?

Indeed, I love the solitude of reading, the aloneness of running, and the simplicity of writing.  But, when did I become so over-committed that I lose my soul?  At times I feel pulled in so many directions that my breath feels heavy in my chest and my eyes blur.

For the coming year, I am making a single resolution: simplify.

I want to clean out belongings that I no longer use and only clutter my existence.  I hope to rid myself of being the "yes-man".  I yearn for time alone, time with Doug, time with my family, time to just be.

("We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." Thich Nhat Hanh is a genius.  Why didn't I think of that?)

The last 23 years have gone by so quickly and I have not been fully engaged.  I am often separate from the moment, lost in a world of necessaries.  How can I learn to exist in the now?

This year, I resolve to practice mindfulness, to meditate, to pray, to exist in complete fullness of the moment and love of the present.  I resolve to be fully engaged with my life.



2 comments:

Robin said...

That sounds perfect and lovely. :)

~*Jace and Emy*~ said...

I highly recommend the book "Full Catastrophe" by Kabat-Zinn. It's about mindfullness, living in the moment, and healing stress. =)

Carpe diem! And I'll support you the whole way!